So I have been meandering through Fences by August Wilson and Beloved by Toni Morrison and thinking about how they can apply to me and my life, and here's a little something I came up with quickly.
I've built some fences in my day. My heart's probably a bit rusted shut. I ain't never smoked tob--ok, so I've smoked tobacco, but only a couple puffs--what I am sayin, what I am trying to say, is I've built some fences up around myself, around my heart, locked it up a bit for all kinds of reasons. What's it to you? At least I can admit it--shoot! I'm sharing it with the world. You'd be wise to admit it too, but you won't. At least I admittin it. And I can't hear the flakes fallin, but I bet they are...I bet they are.
The thing about fences though, they keep things out for sure, but I been thinking, been thinking that now my life is more about what I keeping in, yeah...what I keepin in--in the inside part.
You see, some Man came up to me, I don't remember when, but He did; He came up and asked me for water or somethin when I was younger. I'd forgotten all about it up 'til recently, on the account of it happenin again and all. But He came up to me then. I couldn't let Him come inside, wasn't old enough to make that choice yet. I mean He could come in, but that wasn't what it's about, it's about asking Him to come in, ya know? This time I asked. He came in, to the inside part, right on past the fences, through the rust, to the inside of this old tin, He came in, He said my name! He knew my name! And it don't sound nothin like how other people go on and say it--nothing like them. It sound true when He say it, real, alive. And he said it with that look in His eyes, you know that look? It's a great look, He hugs you with His eyes, keeps you warm and safe and all wrapped up in love...it's a great look. But yeah, He came in, I wanted Him to, I sorta asked Him to this time. He opened me up, saw my heart bleeding its red. I didn't even know it at the time. Didn't even hear Him creep in; He came in like He was gonna steal something. But I saw Him, and He hugged me with His eyes, and He gone on and said my name like that. I knew He could steal whatever He wanted. And you know what He took? All He wanted was my box--He stole my tin box! Can you believe that? He came in like a thief to steal my heart! I didn't even know--I just let Him take it.
So yeah, I build fences, but you do too. The thing about fences though, people can still get in, things can get out. But these fences of mine now, now they are pretty much about keepin Him in. I don't never want Him to go away. These fences are to keep Him in. To keep anything not Him out. It sounds bad, having fences and all, fences to protect the rusted tin box, but I don't feel bad in this situation. It feels good. The rusty flakes fallin. Hearing my real name, hearing truth. Never feelin thirsty. It feels good. Good on the inside part, inside these fences. It feels good.
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